Put on your dancing shoes! Dancing with the Stars kicks off Season 16 with 12 new couples, three new pros and a new dance style. How did everyone do?
Guys, we're back! And Brooke's dress is taped together by seaweed. Are you still mourning Maks' absence? Or still celebrating it? Forget about that for a second. Let's get down to business.
Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: cha-cha
This would be a good time to say that I've never heard a Kellie Pickler song in my life. Or maybe I have and didn't know it. Derek says Kellie has the potential to be a "really great dancer." Uh, when is that not true for one of your partners? Guess what? Kellie already is a really great dancer. She's loose, flexible and full of spunk. Her footwork is sharp, but she gets robotic when in hold. Book them for the final. "Yum, yum, pig's bum. That was fun," Len says. Bruno loves it, but wants more light and shade. Carrie Ann says she has sass and class.
Victor Ortiz and Lindsay Arnold: foxtrot
Sob story already! Victor's mom left him and his siblings when he was a child and he started boxing when he was 17 while still taking care of his little brother. Don't blow your wad on the first show, guys. Victor's absolutely adorable, but this is kind of awkward. It's like Bambi learning how to walk. He's unsure and hesitant, but the potential is there. Bruno loves his "boyish charm and Latino passion." Carrie Ann compliments his posture and says he sparkles. Len likes it, but found it uneventful.
Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: contemporary
Ingo plays every sport known to mankind and of course paddleboards to meet Kym in Hawaii. Ingo's the perfect celebrity to do contemporary: He's athletic, strong and can handle the lifts. The routine is hot and the lifts are great, but it's all style and not enough substance. Bad call to have contemporary on the first week where you can mask dance ability in crowd-pleasing lifts. Carrie Ann says he did a great job. Len is unimpressed by the lifts. Bruno compares him to Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook. So are you going to give them an average of 5? Also, vote for Ingo, everyone, so we can see his super-cute son every week!
Lisa Vanderpump and Gleb Savchenko: foxtrot
Giggy! In a suit! 10! Lisa's uneasy getting up close and personal with Gleb. "Sometimes I feel like I'm being unfaithful [to Ken], in the nicest possible way," she says. I'd gladly trade places with you, Lisa. The number is OK. Her nervousness is palpable, and she's fluid one minute and bobbles the next. The routine is also hella slow and she still won't get all up in Gleb's personal space. Who would've thought she's so demure? Seriously, let's swap. Len calls it acceptable. Bruno wants her to press her hips against Gleb. Carrie Ann tells her to get her feet under her.
D.L. Hughley and Cheryl Burke: cha-cha
D.L.'s Dancing name: Boogie Fantastic. "There's a whole idea of masculinity that you have to suspend when you dance," he says. There's some semblance of boogie-ing. Is it fantastic? Hardly. Um, did D.L. rehearse at all? I can live with the stiffness, but he looks completely lost and dumbfounded. Cheryl's, like, three beats ahead of him and I'm pretty sure he only got 2.5 steps correct. "You have terminated the cha-cha-cha," Bruno says. "You gotta go back to work and practice harder for next week," Carrie Ann tells him. Len calls it rough. "You gotta work your butt off ... because this was no good!" he scolds. He gets a trio of 4s. Ouch.
Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: contemporary
Zendaya's a hip-hop dancer. Cue ringer talk. She's 16 and the show's youngest contestant ever. Val doesn't want to sacrifice the substance of the dance just because Zendaya's 16. Did we know Zendaya was this tall? I'm not sure I've seen limbs like this on anyone before. Shocker: She's good. Her extensions are gorgeous, and there's an easiness about the whole routine. It's flirty, age-appropriate, and they don't go overboard with the lifts. Carrie Ann calls it fantastic. "That was great," Len says. Bruno calls it a "superb debut."
Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd: foxtrot
Sean wants to learn how to dance so he doesn't embarrass Catherine. He then proceeds to do the saddest hip thrusts ever. "Will this help me on my wedding night?" he asks Peta. "Oh, God, no," she laughs. Eye bleach, please! This is the opposite of D.L's dance. They both might not be natural dancers, but you can see the effort that Sean puts in. He's wooden and a bit sloppy, but he's going after every move and has a good upside. Len likes his posture, but wants him to calm down. "For a dance virgin, you have a very effective pelvic thrust," Bruno says. No pun intended. Carrie Ann likes it rough. I'll leave it at that.
Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas: cha-cha
Yay! Olympian Hour! It's high time Aly got the spotlight on herself after London. She's definitely a more natural performer than Shawn Johnson was. As she promised, her shimmying and hip thrusts are on-point. She's not totally attacking the dance and her footwork needs to be sharper, but it's a sassy debut. The only downside: no reaction camera on her parents. Fail! "You can shake it like the best," Bruno says. "I'm impressed." Unsure if pun was intended. Carrie Ann likes it, but thinks it was too safe. Len likes the rhythm and feel, but wants her legs to be crisper.
Dorothy Hamill and Tristan MacManus: contemporary
Olympian Hour continues! Will she spin like that off the ice? Dorothy was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago and was inspired by Kristi Yamaguchi on Dancing. And good dancers run in the Olympic figure skating champion family. There are a few wobbles, but the number is just gorgeous. I know. Dorothy Hamill plus contemporary sounds weird on paper, but this is lovely, mature and emotional. It's like a pairs ice dancing routine, and her extensions from figure skating are in full flight. And how hot does Tristan look with that scruff and suspenders? Carrie Ann calls it golden. Len says it should be designated as outstanding beauty. Bruno calls it deeply felt.
Wynonna Judd and Tony Dovolani: cha-cha
Oh, look. Tony has a Woman of a Certain Age. Again. Wynonna talks about her new husband Cactus, who lost his left leg months after their June wedding in a motorcycle accident. "I may not be a pro, but I'm going to shake my money-maker," she says. And shake it she does. The number's on the slow side, but unsurprisingly, Wynonna has great musicality. She's clean and seems to be erring on the side of caution, but you know she's got major 'tude and skill percolating underneath. Naomi and Ashley in the house! Shouldn't you be running for Congress or something? Len says it was very good. "I know you can give it plenty and you can give it more," Bruno says. Carrie Ann says she was workin' it, but agrees with Bruno.
Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess: foxtrot
Andy wastes no time talking about his past legal and personal troubles. He has a breakdown in rehearsal, but got through it. Andy definitely wins the Battle of the Comedians between him and D.L. He's very unrefined, but there's a gawky debonair charm about him. I think it's say to safe most were expecting worse. Bruno says it was like watching Woody Allen dancing. Carrie Ann compares him to an ugly duckling come to life. Len says it was too jerky.
Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: cha-cha
Ravens! Jacoby had knee surgery, so they couldn't start rehearsals until last week. Melissa Rycroft and her two days scoff at your full week! Going out on a limb and guessing that Karina loves anything that glows in the dark between the outfits she put Apolo in last season premiere and these glo-sticks. If you've seen Jacoby's touchdown dances, then you know he's got rhythm. And this, like that aforementioned link, is like a greatest hits of his best club moves. There's not much technique, but I guess we can partially attribute that to his bum knee. Carrie Ann wants him to work on his posture. Len says it was too performance-driven. "You can grind it as well as I've seen people grind it in 16 seasons," Bruno says.
So Zendaya and Val are on top with 24 and D.L. and Cheryl are last with 12. Remember, no elimination tomorrow, so see you back here next week.
What did you think? Was Zendaya the best of the night? Is she the ring-iest of ringers? Did D.L. literally just show up 20 minutes before show time? Are you scarred by Sean's hip thrusts? Does Giggy deserve a 10? Who's your current pick to win?
View original Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, March 18, 2013 at TVGuide.com
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